Texts From Last Night.

Iv been reading this website of late, and its just about all these texts people post that and from last night, about last night or anything random and funny. here are a few of my favorites.

(+64): If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.


(917): i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.

(516): was the water running?

(917): yeah but he said he knows how to swim


(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section


(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

(512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

(516): im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test